Guilt

I don’t mean this in any way to judge, a lot of this is Self-Reflection…
And Bear with me- it was Early in the morning.
And. PLEASE, leave comments. Even if you disagree and want to kill me.

Oh, And Sorry For The Length.

I Attended the Heartsong Live concert. It was amazing. Not only did the group perform well, the crowd participation in worshipping their Creator was spectacular. There have only been a few times in my life that I have heard worship like that. At the end it was equated to a small taste of What Heaven Will be Like.
Song After song went by. Hearts Opening to God.
Then we Sang this Song. Take a minute or two to contemplate the lyrics.
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“Hillsong United - None But Jesus
In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but JesusCrucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore”
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For The most part everyone else seemed to really be ‘moved’ by the lyrics. Loud unashamed Worship of Our King. I don’t know about you But it caused me to feel extremely guilty (rather than sharing the apparent other emotions of my fellow worshipers). HOW DARE I Sing these Lyrics? I love the song- don’t get me wrong. But does anyone- ANYONE – actually put All their Delight in the Lord!? Do they have all their Hope, All their Strength Forevermore in Christ? I know I am beating a Dead Horse Here- but hear me out.

To ME this song is not encouraging at the surface. It reminds me of my fallibility. How my promise to Love the Lord for the rest of my life is a worthless claim. I repent from a sin and either continue walking and fall into the same hole again- Right after I PROMISED to never fall into that hole again- OR- I find a deeper and darker hole to jump into. Jump into , not fall. Sadly I (and I believe many of you) Choose Sin more often than choose Christ. (That sentence by itself is a gross understatement)

Therefore. I stand Trembling at the Feet of Christ Claiming
“All my delight is in You LordAll of my hope, all of my strengthAll my delight is in You Lord Forevermore”.

How many tonight made this Claim of eternal loyalty have already broken it- or will break it with haste? How many people were ‘moved’ tonight, felt Closer to God, or had an emotional experience that can’t stay awake during Chapel, sermons, their Bible classes and whose Spiritual life is decaying? God Is Good. He takes us Back Even After we Fail. Even though “Each new day again [I have to] choose”. He forgives. His mercy truly is Everlasting- the mere fact that we are not struck down when we approach him in our pride proves his love.
What I am trying to say is this:

I like this song not only because of how it sounds but it reminds me that I need Christ because I truly cannot be honest with him and sing it. That sounds a little weird but It reminds me of his mercy in taking us back even after we tarnish and destroy his name. Although I never think it’s wrong to re-commit oneself to God- we need to be careful that we don’t fall into a life of licentiousness (a life where we sin so that Grace abounds). Where we are content to love God when we sing- and yet screw him over for during rest of our week. Where we are Apathetic to God- But experience him occasionally when the mood is just right. THAT is NOT Christianity. He Demands, our Heart. Our Soul. And Our Mind. a Relationship based on mere emotion is not relationship at all.

A Brief and Final Thought
I also remembered Job 1:6-12 tonight. This is the passage where Satan goes before God’s Presence and doubts Job’s Loyalty. Let us be like Job in our lives- but especially while formally worshipping. Let us not be the people that Satan mocks God for. I can just hear Satan now… “Look how easily Your People sin while worshipping you! Oh High God! All My Delight is in You Lord! Do you see how easily I have- In MY Glory- Caused them to think they worship you! The Pride, apathy, and disinterest a have planted in their lives make them believe they love you- See. I will win. Your Son’s Death won’t matter. They will serve me.”